Just A Baby Monster

May 13, 2013

Monster Kitty was absolutely the most
adorable little thing ever!

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Monster Kitty told me the story this way…
“Da Mousey was diiiiisss biiiigggg!”

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“But I was fast and I gived him a right….”

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“then I gived him a left like dis….”

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“den I made a big ROAR like dis and scaret
dat Mousey away!”

Monster Kitty,
who’s quite witty,
grew up far
outside the city.

Chasing dust motes,
shedding out coats,
shredding scarves,
sleeping in totes.

Mousely terror,
haughty bearer
of sharp claws.
No collar wearer.

A feline talker,
now a stalker,
through the night
a ghostly walker.

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Monster Kitty Whines

March 10, 2011

Monster Kitty brings out the mother in me.

Why is it that the squeaky little voice of Monster Kitty tugs so hard at my heartstrings? Does sleep deprivation make it easier for him to wrap me around his little paw?

What possessed me to give up my rest time, my writing time, my lunch and dinner time, and 95% of my sleep time to make sure he’s safe and warm and fed?

Why does his pointy little face, that resembles nothing so much as a rat, bring a smile to my face and give me a warm feeling? What is it about the small defenceless creatures of the world that bring out our protective instincts?

All of a sudden, out of the blue, with no lead-up, Monster Kitty stopped eating. He got a soft look on his face, curled into a little ball, started purring really loud, and refused to eat.

At first I thought I might be pushing the bottle at him too often, after all, what do I know about raising kittens?

But as time passed and he didn’t want anything to eat I started to feel tendrils of mild panic that, like refrigerator mold, grew behind the scenes until without warning I got up through the night to feed him and I woke to the fact that I was in full panic mode.

I had no vet in Florida so I typed ‘veterinarian’ into my iPhone and the little pins dropped all around my location. It was 6 in the morning and I was pretty sure no vet was open at that time, but I didn’t know how long it would take to drive to one so I loaded the truck with Monster Kitty and his paraphernalia and headed for the nearest clinic.

Fifteen minutes later I was parked outside the door waiting for the first employee to arrive in about two hours. Monster Kitty was so incredibly small. How had he survived the night without food? I was still panicking, but felt somewhat secure sitting in the vet’s parking lot.

Eventually (about a week or 10 days later it seemed) the vet arrived, the office opened, and I raced in with Monster Kitty cuddled against my chest and tears in my eyes.

To be honest, as you can see from the video, he was probably about the ugliest kitten anyone had ever seen. He looked more like a cross between a bat and a wire-haired rat than a kitten. Didn’t matter, he was my child and I was there to protect, defend, and provide for him.

The vet took one look at my face, took Monster Kitty in her hands, and began to examine him without a single wince at his extreme appearance. Finally she looked at me and made the pronouncement that, ‘There is nothing at all wrong with this kitten that I can see.’ She spoke briefly with her assistant who left the office and returned with a jar of white corn syrup. The vet then took the tiniest syringe I had ever seen – no needle – and filled the tiny syringe with some of the syrup. She stuck the syringe into Monster Kitty’s mouth and squeezed out a few drops.

The transformation was unbelievable and almost instantaneous. In less time than it has taken me to write this Monster Kitty went from ‘waiting for death’ to attack kitty and was climbing all over everything. It took two hands to hold onto him and I had trouble paying because he was running up and down the counter trying to take the pen from me.

As much as I liked his friendliness, I was more than happy to have my voracious little Monster Kitty back.

Tune in next week for ‘Monster Kitty Learns to Play’.

Just because he makes me laugh…

OK, I’ve had Monster Kitty for about a week and I’m sleep deprived, short tempered and tired. I pack a travel bag filled with Monster Kitty paraphanalia and it goes everywhere with me. In it are such items as:

Monster Kitty photo

"Go Ahead, Make My Day!"

  • Bottle
  • Towel
  • Feeding towel
  • Kitten formula
  • Brush
  • Face cloth
  • Clean shirt
  • and last but certainly the reason for all this….Monster Kitty
Everyone needs a reason to get up five times a night to put together warm bottles of milk; to go through the day for weeks at a time in the extremities of sleep deprivation; to have something warm and cuddly to hold and cherish in the quiet of an empty house.

Monster Kitty fills all those needs and more. He is entertainment, distraction, activity, and even – on rare occasions – cuddly. He fills the house with a presence far larger than himself, picks fights with the other cat and the dog, and even attacks me, like Cato in the Pink Panther series. 

Monster Kitty – The Definition

What is it that:

  • starts out tiny enough to fit into the palm of your hand, and gains a pound a month for the first year
  • can climb a jean-clad leg in the wink of an eye (which was really cute when it weighted 3 ounces, but at around 6 lbs becomes a little less funny)
  • eats at least it’s first five ‘real’ meals with its entire body (thereafter requiring a full bath which results in multiple scratches for the owner);
  • attacks your feet every time you walk through the door, almost invariably causing you to spill something;
  • prefers sleeping in the bathroom sink or on your chest to its expensive and specially designed cozy bed, and
  • has maniacal bouts of hyperactivity at 2:00 am and again at 4:00 am, during which it runs up and down your body in bed, leaps on your deaf dog causing her to bark, and attacks the older cat provoking hissing and howling fits?
  • It can only be Monster Kitty.

    On the positive side, he provides literally hours of entertainment each and every day. Which brings me to the purpose of this page. This is a fun page, strictly for entertainment, and will mostly consist of timeline videos of ….. you guessed it:  MONSTER KITTY!

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